it's my turn to express this.

siapa-siapa yang baca cerita ni, moga didiamkan mulut dan dikeraskan lidah agar cerita ini kekal duduknya dalam entri ini, bukan cerita ini untuk di 'folklore' kan. tak perlu semua itu. kerana cerita ini ceritanya tentang aku. yang tak perlu sesiapapun tahu. dah habis tu apesal kau cerita dalam blog? ikut suka aku lah. dah kat sini je aku boleh luahkan. bukan tanggungjwab kau pun nak luahkan cerita aku kat orang lain. tak payah nak susahkan diri sendiri. btw,
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alah aku lupa. berapa kerat sangatlah yang baca ni. if you want to read, just read and forget. remember, read and forget.

i am overly stressed right now. very the stressed. i don't know about others but to hold everything at your shoulder is too much. maybe you can change the words 'everything' to many things. and the bad thing is all the fault are from you because you did all that. even it is in group work. i can't say much.

aku tak tahulah kalau ada orang dalam dunia ni bila buat kerja dalam kumpulan, dia fikir ke tidak beban ahlinya yang lain tu. seperti aku, aku akan rasa amat bersalah kalau aku tak menyumbang apa-apa sangat. rasa macam dalam kumpulan tu, aku hanya duduk dan buat sedikit-sedikit, dan rasa seronok. rasa dah buat kerja. macam mana ada orang boleh rasa tak bersalah bila buat macam tu?

aku tak tahulah kalau aku terlampau over sangat nak kata benda ni. memang semua orang pun stress dengan this-multidip-thingy. here is the confession. aku rasa tak adil sangat-sangat. semua kerja cad 2d aku buat sorang-sorang dan tak ada seorang pun yang sukarelanya nak bantu aku buat benda tu. ada tujuh benda yang aku buat sorang. which is the site plan (master plan), ground floor plan, mezzanine floor plan, first floor plan, roof plan, section a-a and section b-b and all of the drawing were made from autocad 2d. not 3d. and you have to construct all the lines one by one. by refer the sketch up measurement (which i have to measure it all one by one and transfer it to cad 2d)

yes. those work doesn't requires high speed superb desktop so that's why i offered myself to do this leceh drawings. i do not own any powerful laptop. only a laptop which specs core 2 duo processor, RAM only 2.0 GB and nvidia geforce graphic card. too lame, is it? orang lain semua ada laptop canggih-canggih. paling kurang pun guna i3 ke, i5 ke. if i do not offer myself, i wonder who's gonna do those drawing. because their reason is only one. they do not know using autocad. because they left autocad so many years back then, and they have forgotten. what a stupid reason?!

i do not feel like being bullied or anything. but when comes to the critical time, my work become so much, and i could not rest like the others. (here i talk about only for some people). they can laugh, they can talk with happy voices, and they scream and LOLing every time but i stuck in autocad doing all those specific and detail drawings. you know, even i can't do my other homework just because i struggling do these. again, i do not own any powerful tools like yours. so do not ever again say to me like this, hey...bila kau nak pergi beli desktop? pergilah beli sekarang. kalau ada kan senang.. bla bla bla.... what? you think everyone fortunate to own that? abah kau kaya bolehlah ada desktop baru yang canggih. i screamed in my whole lungs but it doesn't sound. i am tired hearing that. and do not say that AGAIN or i will yell at you. seriously.

then comes to the presentation day. it was so bad (maybe only applicable for me), because the panels do not understand the plans. i do not know why they even do not try to understand the plan. go and look at the sketch up and interior. i try my best to draw a very good plan, but then there are so many staircase and levels, and they cannot understand. i know i do not put the flooring. but that's all. all of the spaces use timber flooring, no different at all.  i have consulted senior. and that's how they draw the plan. i follow the examples. i do it ALONE even though it is quite complicated. this is too much and i can't bear anymore. this morning while eating sahur, i just burst the very frustrating tears. its been quite a long time since the last cry. this is just only my fault. all of from me. because i did all that. and again. i hate doing big big scale plan. it was buruk.

and for the report documentation, i think those work should be done in 2 or three days maximum. i hate when someone drag some of the works to the whole week just for the report. report is not a big thing. just edit from the slideshow from crit 1. i gave to you the work because i see you were so relaxed and do nothing in the office. at first, i was the person who responsible to edit the powerpoint presentation into a report. but i gave to him the works. so, my problem solve. and he got some job to do. but then the report was only done a week after. omg. yesterday i look to the printed report. and i feel so angry inside. tak tahu nak kata macam mana marah tu. the hardcopy A3 report is not successful enough because he do not convert the file to PDF and the arrangement tunggang-langgang. dah la size A3, colour printed. reason; because the QS dept. do not yet put their's to compile the report, and that's why it were like that. berapa puluh ringgit habis print. lepas tu jadi macam tu. memang rasa teruk. as a person who always compile, do the print work and the last editor the report-thingy, i feel sooooo bad. maybe i am too fussy on this, but hey, what you do in a whole week with only compiling report which is actually i have done all in the last slideshow crit 1, and the result was?

even in my group, there is one person who never come show his face while discussion and doing work in the office unless it is presentation and crit day. maybe i can't rant on this because he is not in my department, but still i think he do not deserved to get any grade for this multidip subject. his name is still in my group so i deserve to rant. kan? truthfully i do not even know if he has contribution to the group. he never come and sit with us. yeah. i know you have married. but this study things is not meant for you to left to others and only take care of your pregnant wife and do none things. i even do not know who are you. i just know you have married, and what your name is. if i were the project manager, i will let the lecturer know the true colors of you, and if you come i even cannot see your face, and talk nicely. nasib baik aku bukan PM.

i've learnt so many things in this subject. not only about the subject but the people's too. how to deal with people, how to understand people, how to manage people in the group, especially.

in before say this is bulan puasa, jangan la marah-marah. cuba tahan perasaan tu minta maaflah. tahan perasaan pun ada level dia. aku pun takde lah baik sangat sampai tak boleh nak marah orang. cukuplah.




and.... i rest my case.
sadaqallah hul azimm. habis dah multidip. lega.